


I'd Rather Not Remember

by gray_autumn_sky



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-24
Updated: 2016-09-24
Packaged: 2018-08-17 01:08:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8124736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gray_autumn_sky/pseuds/gray_autumn_sky
Summary: Snow and Robin comfort Regina after she encounters Leopold in the Underworld.





	

A chill runs down her spine at the sound of his voice and she feels dizzy, suddenly feeling so very much like the eighteen-year old girl with the broken heart who cried silently though her own wedding. He says her name again and she turns slowly, hating the effect he has on her—that he still has on her, years later and after everything.

Their eyes meet and her blood begins to heat—a slow, rolling boil—as she thinks of the time she spent in his castle, under his watchful, uninterested eye. She thinks of how he’d acted as if he’d been doing her a favor in making her his queen, how dismissive he was whenever she spoke and how small her made her feel. She remembers those nights he’d come into her room, uncaring as she laid there and her body went numb, and she remembers the way he slowly plucked away the things that brought her happiness or provided even the tiniest amount of freedom. He was always there to remind her that she was a possession and like any other ornament in the palace, she was his.

“Regina,” he says flatly and almost dismissively. “I never expected to see you here. I’d have assumed you’d have found yourself with direct passage to Hell.”

She swallows, scoffing as she shakes her head, “I’m not dead.”

“Ah,” he says with a passive nod. “Made a deal with the devil, did you?”

“I’m here…to…” She stops. There’s no need to finish. He doesn’t care and she’s no longer interested in trying to make him understand. She’d tried that and she’d failed. Of everyone here, of everyone she could make amends with, her former husband, the king in all his virture, is at the bottom of the list. “It doesn’t matter,” she sighs as she tries to step past him to join the others inside the diner.

“You destroyed my kingdom.”

She stops, tipping her head to the side as her eyes narrow. “What?”

“You destroyed the happiness of thousands. They were happy when I was king.”

“They had a false sense of security. You ran the kingdom into the ground over indulging a spoiled teenager.” She shakes her head—she doesn’t want to argue and though she wouldn’t go as far as to defend her reign, she certainly won’t perpetuate the myth of his. She attempts to step around him, but he blocks her—and once more, she’s reminded of the way he towers over her, the way he dominates a space and diminishes her presence. Her jaw tightens as she tries to keep her resolve, reminder herself she’s not that scared teenager anymore and she’s been long free of him. “I may have committed a long list of sins, but destroying the kingdom was never one of them.”

“You terrorized them—my poor subjects, you were cruel to them.”

“Sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the greater good,” she returns. “You taught me that.” Her fingers curl into fists as his eyes harden as he stares at her, making her wonder what she ever did to make him hate her they way he had to have hated her to treat her as he did. “I did what I had to do to survive,” she says as her mouth goes dry.

At that, he scoffs. “You never should have been Queen. You never deserved…”

“You’re right—I never should have been Queen.” She shakes her head and her voice catches. “I never wanted to be and I told you that. I told everyone that. But you didn’t care, no one did.” She takes a breath and swallows hard, refusing to show any more emotion than she already is, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing that even after all these years, what he did to her still stings. “I was a child. I was eighteen on our wedding day,” she says flatly. “Barely older than your own daughter,” she adds, shaking her head—she mentions Snow, but she thinks of Henry. “How could you?” She swallows and once more, she feels like the eighteen-year old who first entered his castle. “How is it that a man who showed kindness to so many, couldn’t show even just a little bit to me?”

His eyebrows arch and for a moment, she thinks he may be considering it. But then, he shrugs his shoulders in a self-assured and dismissive way. “Most would have been glad to be offered what I offered you.”

She blinks and before she can reply, the diner door opens and the others’ join her on the side walk. Her arms cross over her abdomen as Leopold’s eyes look away from her, instantly turning kind as he sees his daughter, who runs into his arms for a warm embrace. She watches the way he hugs her—so tightly and securely—and she wonders how a man who cared so deeply for his child, could have been so cold to her.

And then she feels Robin’s hand slide against the small of her back as he looks at Snow and Leopold and then to her. His lips purse and she nods, confirming what he’s thinking and she watches as his eyes darken as understanding sets in.

He presses a kiss into her temple, as Henry steps forward. “Mom? What’s wrong?” He asks, looking between the adults. “Who is that?”

“Come on,” Robin murmurs, as he turns her. “Let’s go inside and have some tea.”

She nods and smiles meekly when Henry follows them. The three of them slide into a booth—Robin close beside her and Henry across from them—and she feels herself relax a little with the reassurance she’s no longer alone.

“Who was that, Mom?”

“That was King Leopold. He’s…your great-grandfather.” Robin gives her hand a little squeeze, as Henry turns back to the window, watching as Snow and Leopold talk on the sidewalk. When he turns back, his brow furrows. “So, that means he was…”

“My husband,” she supplies though he word is difficult of her to say because it seems so unfitting for what he actually was to her. She looks to Robin and he too is staring out toward the sidewalk, watching the exchange with a tight, clenched jaw. “Do you…want to meet him?”

Henry blinks as he looks back at her, and slowly he shakes his head. “No, I don’t think so.”

“Why not?”

“Because,” Henry says with a shrug of his shoulders. “He hurt you.”

“You’re a good son, Henry,” Robin says, softening as he looks away from Leopold and to Henry.

Regina watches as they exchange smiles, and again, she feels herself relax a little more. She’s glad to have them, glad that they accept her and that they love her in spite of it all.

“I’m going to go order that tea,” Henry says, looking between them as he slips from the booth. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

They watch him go and when he’s at the counter with a menu in hand, Robin turns to her. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she says a little too easily. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” She watches as his thumb rubs against her wrist and she smiles. “Yeah, I am.” She sighs and looks back to him. “I just…don’t understand. He was always so kind to everyone but me, and I’ve always wondered why.” She shrugs, “It was stupid to think…”

“No,” he’s quick to say, giving her wrist a soft squeeze. “That’s not stupid.”

“It’s not stupid at all,” Snow says. Robin and Regina both look up to see Snow standing at their table. She offers an empathetic smile as she slides into the booth across from them where Henry had just been sitting. “I asked him the same question.”

“What did he say?” she asks, again too eager.

“Nothing,” Snow says. “It’s funny, he told me that I’ve always had you on a pedestal. But it wasn’t you who was on a pedestal. It was him and…” She shakes her head. “I finally realized that because the man I just met isn’t the one I remember.”

“I’m sorry. I know how close…”

“Please don’t apologize to me, Regina,” Snow interjects. “I should be the one apologizing. We lived under the same roof for years and I never noticed how…how cruel he was to you…and…I’m just so sorry.”

“You were a child.”

“That doesn’t excuse it.” She sighs, “Because when I think back…”

“I try not to…” Regina murmurs as Robin slides an arm around her, and presses a comforting kiss into her hair. “I never expected him to love me, but I…”

“Expected a little kindness or…” Snow trails off, searching for the words and lost in the memories—memories that once seemed so happy to her, now tainted through the view of an adult lens.

“Something,” Regina supplies as she too loses herself in thought, wondering if Leopold’s actions toward were even about her or if they’d been about her mother or maybe something else entirely. Though, she supposed, it didn’t matter. Regardless of whom he’d been trying to hurt, she’d been one to experience it. “It was a long time ago,” she murmurs as she musters a slight smile.

“That doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt,” Robin says as Henry returns with a pot of tea and four cups.

He slides in beside Snow and distributes the cups while she pours everyone some tea. “And it doesn’t mean it was okay.”

Regina nods and smiles and this time, it’s a bit easier, and she’s assured in knowing that she’s no longer the helpless girl trapped in the king’s castle, her broken heart has long since mended, and most importantly she as family to love her through the pain.


End file.
